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You Better Watch Where You Spit

You Better Watch Where You Spit

Julia Eff

  • $ 400

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Brand-new zine from Julia Eff! This one's about depression and it's a heavyweight of ideas, pain, and beauty.

From the author:

Depression's a bitch. A chronicle of sinking and drowning and trying to claw your way out; a story of misshapen ribs, demolitions, back roads, hidden crevasses, shitty people, hopes/dreams/nightmares/insecurity that reads like a grindcore album and a car crash. Sometimes my mental illness feels like a cave that's collapsing on me and sometimes it feels like a lucid dream and the rest of the time I just try to ignore it and live my life so people will love me. This is what it's like when I can't ignore it anymore. Somewhere, in there, there is hope and fight and together we might find it.

32 pages, quarter legal size, B&W, hand-lettered & hand-collaged

Recommended for fans of: painful true shit, that song that you hear casually that maybe doesn't intend to but lifts you out of the mire you're in

Praise for You Better Watch Where You Spit:

"A few weeks ago my friend Julia Eff was in town for a reading I was curating. The night before, a big end-of-summer thunderstorm rolled in and Elizabeth, Julia, and I shut off the lights and lit candles and sat up late in the kitchen handing Julia's notebook back and forth deciding what new pieces would be read. These handwritten pages were the first sections I would see of what became You Better Watch Where You Spit. It had been a heavy summer for Julia because life was dealing out the Cruel and Gruesome and the work felt charged and uneasy and dangerous; it was full of anger and fear and change, and at the very base of it all, the desire to get revenge and fight like hell for your life. The later it got, the worse the storm; wild jags of lightning lit up the room and the thunder cracked and startled us before beating a long, deep roll. As the rain drummed on the windows and the trees lashed the roof I knew I was reading an important thing. You Better Watch Where You Spit is about depression. It is a work made for people who want to vanish, to run away from lives undone, to obliterate themselves without possible chance of return. It's about knowing you're broken and screaming through the bile and acknowledging the sheer shit-business of life. This is no self-help book. It doesn't use recovery-speak or the alienating language of "radical mental health." Instead it barfs out the bats and untamed darkness then lets you know there's someone else who feels as penned-in as you. Reading You Better Watch Where You Spit you are scared for Julia, worried that the big, suffocating Black will consume them, but once you turn the last page you'll see they have what it takes to land the roundhouse kicks in order to survive, and from where I sit that feels heartening. To Julia: you're a warrior and I believe in the reckoning power (and resulting truth) of your anger, and I've seen how it makes people feel less alone, less spun-up, and less trapped. For what it's worth: someone out there is proud of you." -- Adam Gnade, author of Locust House